


The True Confessions of Cash Me Ousside

by slushi_fvcker



Category: The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, They're all like 20 and frenemies??, everyone hates Jaggery but he's still here, how to tag??, text fic, texting fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 19:06:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9507911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slushi_fvcker/pseuds/slushi_fvcker
Summary: Modern au ttcocd fic because this book doesn't have a fandom and it needs one





	

**Author's Note:**

> YarrHarr- Captain Jaggery  
> MermaidMan- Ewing  
> NotDead^^-Zachariah  
> Char-latte: Charlotte
> 
> Also everyone is like 20??

-YarrHarr added MermaidMad, Char-latte, and NotDead^^ to the chat-

YarrHarr: YARR M80S

Char-latte: What the hell, Jaggery?

NotDead^^: Ur not a real pirate

Char-latte: I thought you died

Char-latte: Wtf

YarrHarr: Well I'm special

YarrHarr: I do what I want

Char-latte: Yea

Char-latte: Special needs

YarrHarr: I am resurrected for this and this only

YarrHarr: Wait

YarrHarr: Did you

YarrHarr: Just

NotDead^^: Can I kill you again??

YarrHarr: I'm good

Char-latte: LETS KILL HIM AGAIN

YarrHarr: No thanks I had my fill

Char-latte: Of water

YarrHarr: Too soon man

YarrHarr: That was yesterday

Char-latte: I filled you with water, you fucking drowned

Char-latte: The hell

NotDead^^: Rip Jaggery

YarrHarr: You didn't fill me with water, the ocean did

Char-latte: The oceans my bitch

Char-latte: She do my bidding

YarrHarr: But the ocean isn't the only thing that made me moist

Char-latte: Yeah, Zach did

NotDead^^: Jaggery no

Char-latte: Get that bitch a stick

YarrHarr: Mr. Doyle Daddy

Chapter Text

Char-latte: Bitches love sticks

YarrHarr: Your dick is a stick

Char-latte: Exactly

NotDead^^: You look like a damn stick

YarrHarr: Skinny and snaps easily

YarrHarr: Bish I'm fat and proud

Char-latte: Hey, at least I didn't snap and beat Zack like you did

Char-latte: His holes will never be the same

Char-latte: It's like throwing a sausage down a hallway now

YarrHarr: Well hey, at least I didn't lie about starting a revolution like you did

-NotDead^^ changed the group name to "The True Confessions Of Jaggery's Dick Stick-

YarrHarr: You planned to kill me after you were like "O no that's wrong" Hypocrite botch

Char-latte: Hey, technically my revolution didn't fail

Char-latte: At least my dick still stands up

NotDead^^: You don't have a dick????

YarrHarr: You want a revolution

YarrHarr: I want a revelation

YarrHarr: So listen to my declaration

YarrHarr: We hold these truths to beat Zachariah-

NotDead^^: stop it

YarrHar: BISH

YarrHarr: CASH ME OUSSIDE HOW BOU DAH

NotDead^^: CASH ME OUSSIDE HOW BOU DAH

YarrHarr: CASH ME OUSSIDE HOW BOU DAH

YarrHarr: How

YarrHarr: Bou

YarrHarr: Dick

Char-latte: CATCH ME A FISH HOU BOU DAH

NotDead^^:-Catches Jaggery-

YarrHarr: When you realize Pokémon GO required walking

YarrHarr: "Catch em all outside how bout dah"

Char-latte: Jaggery is a snake

NotDead^^: Jaggery is a dead fish

YarrHarr: Ekans

Char-latte: Ewing is my bitch

YarrHarr: Feed me your master balls Zach

Char-latte: At least his hole isn't ruined Zach

NotDead^^: stop

NotDead^^: this is bullying

Char-latte: It's okay Zach

Char-latte: Fuck you Jaggery

YarrHarr: Fuc

YarrHarr: U

YarrHarr: 2

Char-latte: succ

Chat-latte: me

NotDead^^: y'all should fucc

Char-latte:No

YarrHarr: No

Char-latte: I wanna fuck Ewing

NotDead^^: I wanna fuck Ewing

Char-latte: We all want to fuck Ewing

-11:58pm-

NotDead^^: Did Charlotte die???

Char-latte: Hey buddy

YarrHarr: Payback

YarrHarr: Damn

YarrHarr: She's alive

Char-latte: I had to take my contacts out

Char-latte: Suck my English dick Jaggery

YarrHarr: Suck my Providence dick, Mr. Doyle

Char-latte: Your dick is dead

Char-latte: You're dead

YarrHarr: No

YarrHarr: I am resurrect

Char-latte: dead

NotDead^^: Can we kill you until you can't resurrect anymore???

YarrHarr: NO

YarrHarr: NO

YarrHarr: NO

YarrHarr: NO

YarrHarr: NO

NotDead^^: calm

YarrHarr: NO

YarrHarr: NO

YarrHarr: NO

NotDead^^: pls no

Char-latte: Who votes on constantly killing Jaggery kill dead

Char-latte: Till**

Char-latte: all in favour say I

NotDead^^: killing Jaggery kill dead pfft

NotDead^^: I

Char-latte: Ewing says I

Char-latte: I say I

YarrHarr: I say

YarrHarr: Te

YarrHarr: Ae

YarrHarr: Se

YarrHarr: Te

YarrHarr: Ee

YarrHarr: Me

YarrHarr: Ye

NotDead^^: what

YarrHarr: Be

YarrHarr: Ae

YarrHarr: Le

YarrHarr: Le

YarrHarr: Se

YarrHarr: Read the first letter of each

NotDead^^:Jaggery no

-Char-latte sent a photo-

-pic of Charlotte w/ Ewing sleeping w/ the caption "idk who this hoe is but I think he dead 

Char-latte: TASTEMYBALLS

YarrHarr: Jaggery yes tbh

NotDead^^: Why are you still alive

NotDead^^: I thought we killed you

YarrHarr: Why am I still getting hate

Char-latte: bc ur ded

Char-latte: I think Jaggery and Ewing should be in a porno

NotDead^^: would pay good money

Char-latte: JAGGERY X EWING

Char-latte: Jaggery, I wish you were coming to heaven with me.

NotDead^^: i wish you were coming to heaven w/ me

YarrHarr: same tbh

NotDead^^: Jaggery can't go to heaven he's dead and going nowhere

YarrHarr: but hell serves cookies

Char-latte: None of you are going to heaven tf

NotDead^^: And you're not going anywhere w/ those train tracks on your teeth

YarrHarr: LMAO

Char-latte: Trains travel

Char-latte: Therefor I am going somewhere

Char-latte: Fuck off you fucking inbred

YarrHarr: How'd you know

Char-latte: Jaggerys an inbred

NotDead^^: Jaggery the asshole pirate wannabe

NotDead^^: Charlotte the tank engine

NotDead^^: And me

YarrHarr: Zach the overseer

YarrHarr: The man in an abusive one sided relationship

NotDead^^: that hurt

Char-latte: You the fucking creep that gives children weapons

NotDead^^: why tho

YarrHarr: "Take my dirk kiddos"

NotDead^^: You're not a child don't start that shit

Char-latte: I WAS A CHILD WHEN YOU GAVE ME THE FRICCIN DIRK

Char-latte: I WAS 13

YarrHarr: "It keeps you save children, hold onto my dirk"

NotDead^^: I basically fucking saved you ya cunt

YarrHarr: You basically killed me tho

NotDead^^: I hate u tho???

Char-latte: No, You almost got me arrested bc that motherfucker was on a crime sene

Char-latte: THAT JAGGERY DID

 

Char-latte:THAT BITCH ALMOST KILLED ME

YarrHarr: I love you

Char-latte: YOU TRIED TO KILL BOTH OF US, JAGGERY

Char-latte: YOU'RE THE ENEMY LMAO

YarrHarr: That hurt

Char-latte: So does the welps on Zachs back

NotDead^^: stop

Char-latte: YOU ALMOST HAD ME HUNG

Char-latte: I WAS 13

YarrHarr: And???

NotDead^^: Yeah dude you blamed her for a murder that you committed and tried to get her hung

NotDead^: Fucked up my dude

Char-latte: You're fucking insane???

YarrHarr: And??

YarrHarr: I mean

Char-latte: And you almost had ME hit Zach with the fucking whip

YarrHarr: And??

NotDead^^: You're fucked up

Char-latte: The only one who was kind to me

Char-latte: YOU ALMOST MADE ME KILL

YarrHarr: And???

Char-latte: You. Are. Fucked. Up

YarrHarr: And???

NotDead^^: Jaggery get some help

YarrHarr: K


End file.
